“For many queer, trans, nonbinary, or questioning kids, school does not feel good. It might feel scary or unsafe. It might be a place where your child’s authentic self is not accepted, let alone celebrated. Your child might be misgendered, excluded, or harassed. They might feel anxious, misunderstood, or unable to focus on their learning.”

This is an excerpt from www.chrysalisla.org—and a story we often hear from our clients at Gender Wellness of Los Angeles. It’s no secret that we have seen a record number of bills that attack LGBTQ rights, especially transgender youth [ACLU]. It is said that “more than 90 percent of transgender youth live in states that have proposed or passed laws restricting their rights.” These anti-trans bills negatively affect youth in a myriad of ways—including bans on participating in sports, forced outings at school, discrimination from using the correct bathrooms, locker rooms, and more. [Williams Institute] Not to mention, these students face a higher risk of being bullied at school for their gender or sexual orientation—around 45% of lesbian, gay, bisexual and trans youth across the globe report being bullied at school. [United Nations Free & Equal]

Trans youth deserve to survive, thrive, and to grow into adulthood. Safe, nurturing spaces for non-binary and trans youth are needed more than ever. That’s where Chrysalis Academy comes in.

Our very own Grace O’Connor, LMFT, serves as an Advisory Board Member for the new independent school, Chrysalis Academy. Today, she sits down with Megan (she/they) and Julie (she/her), the founding partners of Chrysalis, to discuss the importance of affirming spaces for LGBTQ+ youth in the education system.

GRACE: Megan and Julie, can you tell us a little about yourselves and why you started Chrysalis Academy?

JULIE: Megan and I are both educators, but with different paths. I have spent a career in education, first in the science classroom, and then in administrative leadership roles—including leading two schools as the Head of School. Megan has a background in psychology, having worked in residential treatment and county mental health many years ago. She became a teacher about ten years ago. While my classroom experience is mostly with middle schoolers, Megan has taught many elementary and high school grades as well. She also has significant experience with students who learn differently.

The journey is personal for us as well as professional. We’ve been married for eleven years and have an adult trans child. Megan, who identifies as non-binary, grew up never seeing herself represented in the adults (or the educators) around her. We both constantly navigate whether we choose to come out to people in our daily interactions. Over the years at our various schools, we have observed support for LGBTQ+ students that varies widely. Sometimes, despite well-meaning teachers and administrators, LGBTQ+ students were not thriving. We started to wonder about an alternative environment for these students, which led us to begin imaging a school like Chrysalis, designed specifically to provide safety, support, and celebration for queer, trans, and nonbinary kids. 

GRACE: What challenges are you seeing in society that make a place like Chrysalis so important at this time?

MEGAN: The struggle for acceptance and non-discrimination is not new for LGBTQ+ people. Many positive strides have been made over recent decades. At this moment, however, LGBTQ+ rights, and particularly the rights of trans and non-binary people, are being threatened in very real ways. The sheer number of anti-LGBTQ and anti-trans bills being introduced in legislatures across the country, including here in California, is staggering. Even though many of them are being defeated or challenged in the courts, their prevalence sends the message to queer and trans folks that their identity is invalid and their experience is not worthy of protection. This message is particularly damaging to young people who are in the midst of their identity development journey. That makes safe, affirming, and celebratory spaces like Chrysalis more essential now than ever. 

GRACE: What impact do you hope Chrysalis Academy will have on students and families?

JULIE: We always comment that puberty is hard enough for straight, cisgender kids. For trans or gender-expansive kids, facing this physical life transition can be terrifying and cause a real spike in their gender dysphoria. This is part of why we chose the middle years for starting our school. Whether parents and their children decide to pursue (gender-affirming) medical interventions at this stage or not, students deserve a safe and supportive school environment for whatever is coming their way. 

MEGAN: Our vision statement talks about Chrysalis being “an oasis of safety and celebration,” which can be hard for LGBTQ and gender-expansive kids to find these days. Affirming people and spaces are directly linked to decreased levels of suicidality in queer kids. We hope that the school has a positive impact not just on the educational journey of our students, but on their emotional and psychological journeys as well. 

GRACE: What role, if any, do safe spaces play in the education of LGBTQ+ students?

JULIE: Educators have known for years that students are not able to focus on learning when they are distracted by emotional needs. LGBTQ+ students deal with all the same social emotional needs as other students, but also manage the constant distraction of navigating physical and emotional safety and gender dysphoria, further inhibiting their ability to focus on their learning. Having safe educational spaces literally enables students to learn more effectively. 

In addition, we design our programming and decorate our classrooms to allow students to see themselves in literature, view accomplished individuals from many disciplines, and connect to the rich history of LGBTQ+ people. For kids who sometimes can’t even imagine getting to adulthood, this representation can be encouraging and life-affirming. We have had students utterly fascinated by the people on our classroom walls, saying “They’re like me!”

Thank you to both Megan and Julie for sharing their mission, their kindness, and their dreams to make this world a safer place for LGBTQ+ young people.

LEARN MORE

To learn more about Chrysalis Academy and how you can best support their mission, please visit https://www.chrysalisla.org/home.

RESOURCES FOR PARENTS OF TRANS & NON-BINARY CHILDREN

(via Chrysalis Academy)

Students’ Rights in School (from the GSA Network)
Mental Health of LGBTQ Youth (from Child Mind Institute)
The Trevor Project (national LGBTQ+ suicide prevention organization)
GLSEN (national nonprofit supporting educators and students in schools)
PFLAG (national family support and alliance for LGBTQ people)
Welcoming Schools (the education branch of HRC)
Gender Inclusive Schools (training and resources)
Gender Spectrum (resources for schools and parents)
The National SOGIE Center (youth and family resources)
Brave Trails (empowering summer camp for LGBTQ+ youth & families)

For all non-urgent mental health questions and for additional LGBTQIA+ resources and referrals, contact the offices of Gender Wellness of Los Angeles at (818) 855-1105, or simply email frontdesk@genwell.org.

Thank you for reading the GenWell blog. You can read more about our team here. If you or a loved one is struggling on the journey with gender identity, we ask you to reach out via our contact form or call our office at (818) 855-1105. Your journey to your most authentic self starts here.

—The Gender Wellness of Los Angeles Team