I Think I Might Be Transgender… so what’s next? If you or someone you know think that you might identify as trans, non-binary, or another gender-diverse identity, we’re here to tell you that it’s okay—and that there are countless resources here for you while you figure it out. Today, we’ll dive into some common questions and dispel some myths about what it means to be “trans.”

“Am I transgender?”

With over 1.6 million individuals over the age of 13 (in the U.S. alone) who identify as transgender, trans visibility is at an all-time high (Williams Institute, 2022). This may leave you wondering about your own gender identity. Maybe you’ve always felt like something is off, and you haven’t been able to figure out what it is?

“What does being transgender mean?”

Being transgender might feel like recognizing “a difference between your physical sex and your inner sense of being.” (Choice Support UK) Some folks may want to live life as a woman, a man, or something completely unique to them. The word “transgender” – or trans – is an umbrella term for people whose gender identity is different from the sex (M or F) assigned at birth (Human Rights Campaign). 

You may feel unsure about your gender identity, or have spent several years contemplating the question. We’re here to say that it’s okay not to be sure. It’s okay if you’re feeling lost, hurt and alone. The fundamental truth is you are NOT alone. 

“Is being transgender just a trend that will pass?”

Though it may seem hard to believe, trans people have existed since the beginning of time. In many cultures, gender identity was not the harsh binary experience we know today. [ACLU Ohio, 2016) You can view a map of gender-diverse expressions across the world here. Transness is not a trend, and what being transgender means is ever-evolving.

Fun fact: Did you know that many species of fish are able to change their biological sex in order to adapt to their environment? 

“Before I go any further, how do I know for sure if I’m trans?”

You might not like this answer—but you will know you are trans when you give yourself permission to explore it. In daily life, we often explore ourselves through friendships and relationships, changing our haircut and color; we explore various aspects of self and try out new hobbies, passions and interests. Why not explore our gender identity and expression as well? Yes, there’s  a lot of social stigma around being trans or non-binary. A fear of oppression, discrimination, and possible rejection from friends and family often limits the extent to which we allow ourselves to examine our gender.

“When you feel ready for a longer-term conversation about your gender identity, there are a wealth of gender-affirming counselors out there that can help you, wherever you are in your journey.”

“Okay, I feel ready to start exploring my gender identity and what it means. Where would I even start?”

Great question! One thing we want you to know is that there is no ‘one size fits all’ trans roadmap. There are endless possibilities in the process of coming to terms with your trans identity. Coming out, starting hormones, or getting surgery may be part of many trans folks’ journeys, but it doesn’t have to be a part of yours. 

There are many false narratives in the world that equate “gender-affirming care” to non-consentual surgeries, hormones, and other procedures. Instead, we recommend thinking of your gender journey as a unique, personal process that may or may not include gender-affirming procedures. 

I have no one else to talk to about being trans. What should I do?

We get it! It can feel terrifying to discuss your new identity, even with the people in your life whom you trust and love. 

There are countless resources available to the trans community, whether you feel 100% sure about your identity, or are just starting to question it. In times of immediate crisis, please call (988) for the National Suicide Hotline, or call Trans Lifeline at (877) 565-8860. Trans Lifeline is a grassroots hotline and organization for the trans community and by the trans community offering direct emotional and financial support to trans people in crisis.

If you are 24 years old or younger, you can get in touch with The Trevor Project at (866) 488-7386 for immediate LGBTQIA+ crisis support, or text “start” to 678-678.

Do I need to come out?

Though many folks find it helpful to talk to a professional before coming out to their circle of friends or family, you are allowed to do whatever feels the most comfortable and safe to YOU.

When you feel ready for a longer-term conversation about your gender identity, there are a wealth of gender-affirming counselors out there that can help you, wherever you are in your journey. Feeling ready to take the next step? You can view openings on our team of gender-affirming therapists here.

What if I explore my gender and realize that I’m actually not trans?

That is 100% okay. Not all folks who question their gender identity are trans, just like not all folks who question their sexuality are queer or gay. Questioning yourself is a natural part of the human experience, and may occur at any time in one’s life. 

In Conclusion—

Coming out as trans might feel equivalent to coming home for many folks. Despite all the hate and discrimination that exists in our world, we want to remind you that being trans IS beautiful. 

With support groups, one-on-one counseling, care referrals, and more, Gender Wellness of Los Angeles is home to all things Gender-Affirming in Southern California. (We now are able to provide telehealth in other states, too!)

We hope that you find resilience, strength, and bravery on your way to coming out as transgender. Don’t forget that our team, along with many other organizations, are here for you and ready to help! Trans folks are unerasable. 

Your journey to your most authentic self starts here.

Thank you for reading the GenWell blog. You can read more about our team here. If you or a loved one is struggling on the journey with gender identity, we ask you to reach out via our contact form or call our office at (818) 855-1105. Your journey to your most authentic self starts here.

—The Gender Wellness of Los Angeles Team